Things I like to read/write about:

El Salvador, politics, race, soccer.

Things I could do to write more:

Take a journalism class at JCCC. Write on this blog. Get in touch with people and ask them things and write articles

Or not write more.

This is a bit tough. I'm here at the library with the purported intention of grading papers, but I find myself distracted. Am I interested in teaching? Am I interested in getting better? Of course. I was telling Weston that the hardest part of being a teacher is the solitude and uncertainty. I asked hard questions of my students at parent-teacher conferences, and only one perturbed me, but sufficiently so that I'm sitting here doubting. "Are you learning?" I asked. "Not really," he said. "Translate that for your mother." And as I heard the exchange in Spanish, I wondered where I had failed and why I was even interested in doing better.

Is it simple burn out? Articles from online education sites say it may be. Sometimes I feel stuck. I see young people improving themselves, hear myself telling them to strive for their dreams. But what are my dreams? Am I realizing my dream? Then I wonder: Is it foolishness to think about these things? I have a great job; what am I complaining about?

What would I miss? The team, the fellow teachers, working with young people, the passion, the agency. I like waking up early and the duty of preparing young people.

What wouldn't I miss? The pressure. The solitude. Grading papers. Planning lessons late at night.

Where would I go, anyways? I always end these semi-crises pessimistically, realizing that there are no jobs in KC, no real options for me to write. The KC Star isn't hiring; we have a house and want to start a family. Is there a better way to have this debate with myself?