Lucky and Adventurous

My father mentioned today that my girl must be pretty adventurous to still be with me. It's true! After all, I am from a different country in a new city and not exactly sure of where I'll be in three years. I can't offer her the certainty some dude from her own country and her own financial situation could offer her. Sure, I've got my gifts--got a whole lot of them--but it's important too to remember that I'm lucky to be with a girl willing to take risks.

I forget about that sometimes. You know, sometimes I forget about how she is taking a big risk. I should remind myself how incredible she is for betting the farm on me, so to speak. She is investing in me, in us, and I really appreciate that. For her, it would be easier, I'm sure, to just call it quits and get someone closer to home.

She must, then, recognize that I am an amazing person. I need to believe that more often. I need to realize how amazing I am, how talented and passionate and good I am, not only for her, but as a person in general. I have so much to offer, so much so that she is willing to take a big risk with me. I'm no superstar, either, so it fits to say that she really loves me, she's really putting forth her 100%. I need to be more thankful of that. I need to realize how great it is to be with someone who really wants to be with me.

Of course, I am daring as well. I am an amazing person who also is betting a lot on her. It would be easier to dump her and set my sights on a girl from NYC. It would be easier. Yet I know we love each other, I know this is worth it, and I know that I am getting stronger every day. She's at a dinner party right now with some friends; I hope she has a great time. I don't want to worry about whether she smokes or drinks or anything. I know she is a great person, capable of sacrifice, capable of weathering the storm for me, capable of a lot. I am the same. I am a great person, I am willing to take some hits, I am capable of so much. I like knowing that I am an amazing person with so much to offer.

I like knowing that I love me--in fact, I need to do it more often. I need to love me more. Today--maybe because I'm tired--I felt a little negative, a little worn down and pessimistic. It's a constant process. As my friend Errol said, it's one of working to be better every day, a process of having a positive attitude, a positive approach, every single day.

Yes, I want to be happy with her. I want her to be happy. I want us to be happy together :) I want to go to El Salvador with my head held high, happy and proud of myself. I want to do the same thing with her: find some town to live and make a happy home where we are both fun and free and in love. I want that. I can do that. I deserve that. It will work! I am happy to be me. I know that if I am true to myself and in to me, I can do great things, just by being me. One of those great things is loving a great woman.

That is my New Year's Resolution. That is my life resolution. I am ready to try. Oh, my girl, I love you :) Here we go. Day by day. God, give me strength. Me, let me just be me. Free. Me. Love. Respect. Love.