Thursday. Any given. day to turn this around. Turn day. Change day. Welcome to my week.

Listening to right now: Lupe Fiasco.

I love Lupe Fiasco. His new album Lasers is great, but The Cool is classic. I am listening to Intruder Alert right now.

At my home eating arroz con leche and an egg sandwich for dinner. Oh, the days of being single and living alone :) Man, there are benefits! I also deserve props because I did not buy anything today. Doing that living in NYC is a challenge. No food, no nothing.

So my girl and I had another argument today. It's all been around the fact that she smokes, and I don't like that. She told me today that what she wants to protect is her right to choose what's right and good for her. I shouldn't have anything to do in that.

I have to admit, she's right. I rarely admit it, but she's right about this one. So how do I get over it?

Now that I think about it there are a lot of things about her that I don't like. I don't like her taste in music, I don't like Woody Allen (she does), and I hate Anthony Bourdain (she loves him). I don't really like her ideas about UFO's.

These things are not the end of the world. The key is my own self-security and feeling good about it and doing me.

The secret is doing me while still loving her. How?

Accept her as someone unique and different. Before that, though, I need to accept me for me. I need to be cool with my own beliefs. All of her things about smoking/Woody Allen/ music--they all hit at insecurities I've had about my own life. Sure, I've tried cigarettes, but only when I was trying to be someone I was not. Sure,  I think smoking is seriously stupid, but I must respect peoples' right to do it. The same thing about drugs--I would legalize weed if I could, but I don't want to smoke week. I would do it to stop the countless deaths and insane violence across the world and because I don't have the right to tell people what to do with their bodies.

Not even, and probably especially, my girlfriend.

Anyways, I'm getting off point. Stick to my guns: I need to remember to love myself above anyone else. Love starts here. Loving someone else is probably a practice in democracy more than anything else, perhaps the way to practice being tolerant and loving and equal.

But Jesus it's hard to do!

One day at a time. I resolve today to really seriously try to work this out. To not just accept my girl, the good and the bad, but also celebrate her. I believe she is a great person, that she is a wonderful lover, that she is someone with whom I want to be. I get that. Celebrate that, celebrate her.


and CELEBRATE MYSELF. Remember Whitman, remember the awesome person I am and the wonderful life I have. Yeah, I got problems: loneliness, work, studies, long-distance, new and big city, questions bout what's next. Yeah, but I got gifts: generosity, compassion, intelligence, humor, health, passion, love. I am loved and I love a lot of wonderful people. Let's celebrate that. Let's celebrate that. No more worries about differences--they can all go away when we realize what's really important. Love, love, love, love, love.


 I can be the person I want to be. I am the person I want to be. I am the person I have been waiting for. I am the cool. I am a laser. I am everyone's equal. I am Tim, unique, imperfect, perfect, crazy, brilliant, funny, sincere. Let's go.