Yesterday I participated in civil disobedience with #OWS and got arrested. I spent about four hours in jail but feel great about it. Here's an article about it on the New York Times.
I feel good about who I am and what I stand for. I passed under the fence and asked myself on what side would Jesus be. I was not scared, was not nervous. I was happy to have the opportunity to stand up for what I believe in. You can see me in the photo above, but I will let you figure out which one I am.
Barca won 4-0 against Santos of Brazil yesterday as well, proving it is the best club on the planet. As if we didn't already know :) Messi scored a couple of goals, which is great. I love the guy. What's crazy is that he's as old as my younger brother.
I talked with a couple of friends once I got out. One told me I was crazy but the others definitely supported me. I told my father this morning and I hope he feels okay about it.
After getting out of jail and talking to some really really nice #OWS people (the movement has ALL of my respect), I went to a party in Queens with some buddies from NYU. That was great--it was a pretty chill party with beer and cookies and some dancing but only just a little. I was tired.
My girl called me at like 4 in the morning because she had gone back to her hotel room. I am happy she had a good time at the wedding. I'm sure she smoked, but whatever. I am focused on doing me and being the best person I can be, so I'm not going to let that worry me. What's more, she's a good person and it's not like she got super wasted and was throwing up on the bathroom floor. I missed her last night a lot, but I am happy she had a good time at the wedding. I know she put a lot of effort into the food she took there and was stressed out about it all. It's also good for her to have a good time and party and do her thing. She doesn't do it all the time, and it's good every now and then. I had a good time at the part last night--didn't get home until about 3.
I am happy for her, that she's with her friends and has a good life and is good. I know that I am a different person, unique, and that my situation is also unique and what I struggle with right now is tough, but it is preparing me for a better tomorrow. I am working to become a better person, and everyone has their demons. My buddy was talking about how it's been hard for him to break out of his shell this year. So, you know, he also recommended that I never compare my life with my girl's, and that's solid advice because it doesn't lead to anything. I don't try to compare them--I know we have completely different stories and histories and personalities. Sometimes I feel bad because I am often alone and she is often not, but that's just how it goes. I knew that when I came here--that I would have to deal with being alone and this experience was going to be about my becoming someone better and stronger. This is what's happening. Every day I feel stronger about who I am. Getting arrested yesterday only further proved to me how brave and strong I am, how I am willing to fight for what I believe.
So, the answer is not to feel bad about her not calling or to feel jealous about her opportunities to be with people. I also have my share of amazing opportunities to do amazing work and be with amazing people here in New York. I am an amazing person doing amazing things here--working hard, studying hard, trying to be better, trying to work for justice,o trying to stand up for what's right. These are things in which I can take pride, these are things that are forming me into someone stronger. Last night when my girl told me she had smoked, well, I didn't really get bothered by it. I chose to ignore it as best I could. Sure, it's kind of disappointing or whatever, but I also recognize that she is at a party and with her friends and it is not always like this. I also recognize that she has a lot of things that are wonderful about her--her generosity, sense of humor, grace--and these things win against her smoking.
I know this is a busy time for her, and I don't want to raise the expectations. I want to be good. I want to be strong. I want to be better. Look at who I am.
I am a young man interested in soccer, social justice, faith, education, and doing right.
Doing these things every day--realizing that I am great and that my girlfriend is also a great person--is important. We're different people--different culture, religion, tastes in music--but I think there is more to it than that. We like cooking, we like traveling, we like art, we like to have fun. These are things we have in common, and I know that after a year of being together our commonalities are greater and more than our differences. I am happy that she is having fun. I am happy that she is enjoying life; I sure as hell don't want her to be sad. I don't want to be sad, either--I need to be happy and good, not make her sad. I am working on that, day by day! I am positive :) I am an amazing person. Day by day!
0 comments:
Post a Comment